Now here's the deal: this is not going to be a rant nor is it going to be a complain about me on DA... if it was, it would look very different. Trust me. Just keep reading, it might be worth your time.

For starters, I have come to understand that I have far too many watchers and this kind of screws me up because I have too high expectations. Yes, you heard right; my expectations are too high and clouding my judgement. This is the reason why I sometimes seem to be hung up on the numbers of watchers, comments and favs. I must come across as some being who doesn't know right from wrong. Well, let me tell you, the truth couldn't be further away. Art is about fun. At least for me but DA can be cruel sometimes if you are not prepared. It's so easy to get caught up in stupid numbers which sadly can make you depressed. Yes, it does affect me too, there's no denying. Yet, as I said, art for me is having fun otherwise I wouldn't be drawing and that's a fact. It's very relaxing for me and I enjoy the process of creating. It's something I feel the urge to do.
Coming back to numbers... yes, numbers can be an awful thing and just because I gained a few more watchers doesn't mean a lot will change. That's what I am doing wrong; I assume that because of a slight change, the world will turn upside down, literally speaking of course. No, it doesn't and I make myself anxious due to that way of thinking. It's my own fault, not yours and I apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable at times. I can be quite stubborn... I am a Gemini just in case you wonder... So yeah, I think, I know now what "triggers" me and I am eager to change that. No, I am not leaving DA; at least not just yet.
As for my recent polls, just because I am asking something doesn't mean that I am not confident. I am just interested in your thoughts; nothing serious and don't automatically assume that the same applies for my pictures. It's true that I often say it's no good but I can honestly say I will never like something I made for a long period of time. Don't tell me you never see any faults in your pictures. If I see a mistake (which I do more than often) I start to dislike the piece but that's me. Just sitting infront of the screen admiring my work does not help me. Frankly, it's something I can't do, I am just too picky for that.
In case you think now that I don't have a life and that I am a very unhappy person, au contraire mes amis. I just got a part-time job last week at the LGC which is a little wonderworld for artists (Londoners might know what the initials stand for), my Japanese lessons are so cool and I met wonderful new people.
So, don't assume things too quickly especially with my polls. On a side note regarding my current poll, guys, when you say yes, then stick to it. No offense, but life is about making choices and I am always thinking that you should make up your mind. Fooling around doesn't help anyone. If you want to dewatch me, then please, go ahead. I won't hold any grudge against you nor am I forcing people to watch me. Last time I checked, one can speak its own mind... well, most of the time anyway.

I hope that clears a few things up and thanks for reading.

Blossom